Saturday, March 13, 2004

My feet hate me. I'm currently using a formaldehyde solution to get rid of the veruccas on my heels, while my toes itch, which means the athletes foot is back again. I've decided I shall stalk the people of North London until I find the person with ideal feet that I can have forceably transplanted on to my legs. I shall then sell my old feet to American Military Intelligence as they continue their research in to new weapons to kill people they don't like in needlessly unpleasant ways.

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