Saturday, August 26, 2006

The Daily Mail issues a hilarious warning to parents on the dangers of their kids discovering Emo.

The Emos - short for Emotional - regard themselves as a cool, young sub-set of the Goths. Although the look is similar, the point of distinction, frightening for schools and parents, is a celebration of self harm... One governor of a famous boarding school told me that it was as serious a problem as binge drinking, but rarely discussed for fear of encouraging more girls to do it... The internet has many sites dedicated to Emo fashion (dyed black hair brushed over your face, layering, black, black, black), Emo bands (Green Day, My Chemical Romance), Emo conversation (sighing, wailing, poetry). (Emphasis mine)

Lawks! Who will save our kids from this sighing/wailing poetry menace?

The androgynous nature of the Goths is appealing to the young because it is sexually unthreatening. Teenage girls are frightened of manliness: they like boys who look like girls. Kate Moss, the girl who never grows old, understands youthful taste completely. There is also a deadly glamour about the Goths. The word femme-fatale is Goth based. Many of the alluring women of our time - Nigella Lawson, Debbie Harry, Chrissie Hynde, Sophie Ellis Bextor, Lily Allen - have a touch of the Goth about them.

Nigella Lawson am emo? Sophie Ellis Bexter?

They have a sophistication and depth lacking in the blonde, bouncy chav faces which dominate our television screens and nightclubs.

Grrr...

Although Goths are from the same family tree as punks, they are a lot less fun to be with. While I loved punk for its energy, Goths were too bloodless to lift a finger. One of the most annoying characteristics of teenagers is their refusal to open their curtains. Their world is dark and airless. If this environment is coupled with the psychological traits of self-pity, introspection, self-dramatisation and hormone imbalance, you have a fully-fledged Emo, even without the small Tshirt and black hair. The wondrous thing about being an adult is that you have so much more to worry about that you stop striking poses and get on with it... What worries me is that teenagers are less equipped to manage strong emotions and a cult of suicide could have real and horrible consequences.

It is irresponsible for the fashion and music cultures to encourage it. If you want retro style, I recommend Ian Dury's song Reasons To Be Cheerful.


I think it's more irresponsible for the Daily Mail to encourage their readers to believe their world is a dark and hateful place. What's the proportion of 'OMG we're all going to die!!1!' stories to 'why don't we chill out and relax' stories in the Daily Mail? It's the Mail that's anti-life, not emo.

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